Bookstore Confessional

I cancelled my cable TV. It occurred to me a few weeks ago that I was spending hours zoning out to shows I was only vaguely interested in while summer snuck by. I blamed it on my job. Conflict on the job has made my life increasingly unpleasant. I told myself that closing my blinds to gorgeous summer evenings and watching reruns of Charmed was a way of recharging my battered psyche. I talk a lot of crap - even to myself.

So my cable was disconnected and my internet was accidently disconnected in the process. I was, as it turned out, disconnected from the world. I wasn't quite sure what to do with myself. I went to Target Friday night to find a movie for under $10. I ended up with Practical Magic. Apparently I like the modern-witches-grow-herb-gardens-and-kick-boys-butts storylines.

Three months of being bummed can make your brain a bit dull, so when I decided to go to the bookstore Saturday night, it was to find the printed version of Practical Magic. I did at least make a show of it and wander around the store first. Has anyone else noticed the Oprah Effect on modern literature? I'm a little bored of stories of oppression and triumph. Call me jaded. On my third lap around the store, I decided that the store designer should be congratulated for putting the romance section beside the mystery section. Though it would be bad for sales if any of the girls in the romance section actually looked up to notice the cute boys in the mystery section. Did you know that bookstores now come with entire aisles on dating? On this point too, I was a little judgmental. You can't learn about dating from a book, I thought. And then I realized I was standing alone in a bookstore at 9 o'clock on a Saturday night. So I checked out the titles. Yeelch. How to Meet the Man of Your Dreams and Marry in Less Than a Year. [No doubt that volume two will feature a chapter on quickie divorces.] Someone walked by and I was embarrassed to be standing in front of the dating books. [I get equally as embarrassed when found standing in front of dieting books.] I peered around the corner and the only other person in my vicinity was a guy reading a book about organic tomato growing. I guess we all have our cross to bare.

Davy

Because I just now realized that he has given me permission...

I present: Dave the Tomato Eater.

[Though this evening he was very much Dave the Wine Drinker. Or, as I like to call him, Dave the Guy Who Came to Teri's Birthday Party and Drank All of Her Wine.]

[And, yes, I do actually live in a world where people drink red wine and then roll up their freshly pressed sleeves to give the sign of the devil.]

Hi there.

My name is Teri. This is my blog. It's a bit neglected. I've been, um, not bad, but not , uh, comfortable with myself lately. Change. It's not good.

OK, so I've put out 28 resumes and finally got a nibble from one today. [On a Sunday, no less!] I was just asked to fill out more documentation, so I will oblige. For the record, I do have a job. It's just an extremely low paying, no benefits, no vacation giving job. Wow, it sounds even worse when you put it in writing rather than muttering under your breath.

My cupboards were bare, so I went to the grocery and stocked up on fruits and veggies and Cheerios. I exercised twice today and did four loads of laundry. Overall, a fairly productive day.

Oh yeah! I bought a nice little lounge chair and cute plants for my back deck. I sit out there and read now. And! My wireless works out there. If I didn't live in the ghetto, I would consider sleeping on my fabulous new chair.

OK, everyone say hi. I said hi first. :)

So I'm a little cranky...

Alright, so maybe agitated is more like it. Things - people, places, events - are annoying me. To my credit, I think I am holding it together pretty well considering I haven't shot up a McDonald's yet. Besides, violence would just cause way more anxiety. I think the answer is to hole up in an empty room and lie in the middle of the floor for three days. I think it would bring back my Zen. (Yeah, I'm using Zen incorrectly again. Work with me.)

Don't worry, it's just temporary. I don't handle change very well. I like stability and comfort. And I like for my spontaneity to be convenient.

After decompressing, I think I will take a road trip. Let's discuss plans tomorrow, shall we?

Oy vey!

You kids are some loyal peeps. I haven't been around for weeks on end, but here you have been - sitting on the proverbial stoop. It makes a girl feel loved.

So I'm officially finished with school. Forever. Evvvver. Graduation is Saturday afternoon. I need to get my butt over to the bookstore and purchase my hood and tassel. And then there is that whole applying for a job thing - gotta get on that.

My birthday party was last Friday night and, I gotta say, it was quite the event. Dave the Tomato Eater was there. If he lets me, I'll post a funny photo of him. What do you say, Davey?

Can we talk about something serious for a second? Why do my friends have such rotten self esteem? There is definitely something wrong with the universe when the chubby, redheaded, pasty kid is the most confident one in the bunch. Love yourselves. And then love everyone else. [But use protection!]

I'm going down for a nap. I promise I'll write again tomorrow.

VIDs [Very Important Dates]

Break out your calendars, kids. It's time to pencil in dates that will change the universe:

Tuesday, April 25 - The Very Last Day of Class [EVER.]
Saturday, April 29 - Pre-Teri Day Celebration
Sunday, April 30 - Teri Day!
Saturday, May 13 - Graduation

Just so you know, I'm up to my eyeballs in papers and probably won't write again until the 25th. It's just 19 days and I will miss you the entire time, my pumpkins!

Because I am utterly unoriginal [and can't sleep]

70 Things That You Just Didn't Know:
1. DO YOU SNORE?
probably... i definitely walk and talk in my sleep [but not at the same time... not that talented]
2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
*ding**ding* fighter
3. WHAT ARE YOUR WORST FEARS?

dependence
4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?

no, legos were for boys and i was very into gender roles as a youngster

Where did #5 go?
6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?

heck no, that's a good way to shred your gums
7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY
quite
8. IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
only if it comes with a gift receipt
9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
silver & black
10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
i used to but the walls are too thin in this apartment... i can hear my neighbors unrolling their toilet paper
11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
nope
12. ANY SECRET TALENT?
repelling men... wait, that isn't a secret
13. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
ireland, i think
14. IS JAY LENO FUNNY?
no idea
15. CAN YOU SWIM?

if doggie paddling counts
16. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?
multiple times
17. DO YOU CARE ABOUT THE OZONE?
yep
18. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?
i don't lick, i bite
19. CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
no, i can't... just ask the fort bragg mp
20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
i prefer keeping my hands and feet inside the moving vehicle
21. ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD?
god no... i have the full scale neurosis of the youngest girl child
22. DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENERS?
electric
23. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
boo!
24. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
did my mother slide this question in here?
25. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING
sure, it's always been there for me
26. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
republicans
27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU "?
when i was on the phone with my mom
28. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE?

let's hope not, lisa marie is an embarrassment
30. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
scrambled, well-done [runny eggs... yeeelch!]
31. ARE BLONDES DUMB?
only when they are boys
32. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
cancun
33. WHAT TIME IS IT?
past my bedtime
34. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME(s)?
nothing that's stuck
35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
oh yeah
36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?

this morning
37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
showers... i get too hot in the bath
38. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
is this a trick question?
39. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
uhhhhhh huh
40. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
a little
41. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
soda
42. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
creamy... crunchy ruins the bread
43. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
ewww
44. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
twice... i live the life of a daredevil
45. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?
twice
46. IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?

am i on a date?
47. ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER
pretty much
48. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
hazel-ish
50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
sure
51. WHOSE LIFE IS BETTER?
oh, it's all relative, isn't it?
52. ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
not really, but i had an uncanny knack for knowing when the artist currently known as satan was f*cking up
54. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
a played a very bad flute back in junior high
55. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
i stole change out of my brother's room... got busted... that ended my life of crime
56. DO YOU LOVE SOMEBODY?
of course
57. DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE YOU KNOW YOU SHOULDNT?

no, i've left that phase of my life
58. DO U SNORT WHEN U LAUGH?
only when it's really, really funny
59. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
yep
60. ARE DOGS MAN'S BEST FRIEND?

well, someone has to tolerate them
61. YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?

i believe it should be banished like famine and war
62. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
pfft

63. DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES?
only in math and relationships
64. IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
right now it's a balmy 34 degrees
65. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE
kashi granola bar
66. DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
only on my piggies when i'm breaking out the summer tootsies
67. HAVE YOU EVER STAYED UP ALL NIGHT
hello, i'm in graduate school
68. WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIALS?
that website commercial from the superbowl
69. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
why? is this quiz sponsored by american eagle?
70. FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT?
today? whiskeytown [it will be another band tomorrow]

Oh happiness!

Teri's Top Five Favorite Holidays:
1. St. Patrick's Day
2. Halloweeen
3. Fourth of July
4. My Birthday
5. Thanksgiving/Christmas (football and food? heck yeah!)

Happy St. Patrick's Day!